Satire. I show people who are all for social justice going too far, or just going full retard. Like a zoo you know? “Hey look at these people being stupid and acting like animals” I sometimes post actual satire, and I sometimes make posts openly mocking the parts of movements that are taken too far. Everything I’ve seen about the privileges I have (thin, white, male, cis, hetero) does not apply where I live. I went to highschool as a minority, in a school where guys were trying to impress girls, where being cis meant there was nothing special about you and being hetero was nothing anyone cared about. I was invisible to everyone, only standing out by stature and merit. Your question is a good question and I’d like to thank you for asking. Here’s a wall of text if you want more, and here’s a video for amusement. I haven’t cared to update because I grew fed up with social “justice” and annoyed and stopped because well, this was beginning to make me unhappy instead of amused. At this point I can’t tell the satire apart from the people who are actually serious and that is the sad part about those who are serious. I mean, look at the shit I’ve posted. Some of this shit is completely absurd. Anyways, here is a video relating to how most gay rights people on tumblr act have fun and enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3h6es6zh1c&feature=kp
I am a man from Canada. In school I learned about how the province of Quebec was conquered by the British from the French several hundred years ago. Now instead of burning the city to the ground, or raping the women and killing the men, or forcing the British religon upon the French colonists, the British decided to let them be. Let them continue to speak french, let them continue to believe their religon and just let them become a part of the empire without any more bloodshed. Since then, Quebec has constantly been complaining about being treated harshly. About being treated worse than the other provinces (when in fact, Quebec has more say in politics than most of the other provinces, and gets lots of money just because of it’s unique heritage) I look at this and think “You lost. You shouldn’t even be alive, you should be happy. We’re not treating you in particular like shit, it’s just everyone is treated shitty. Quit being such little bitches about your equal treatment” Now that was years ago. In Canada, every item in the store, every product has labels. 1 is in English, the other in French because Canada is bilingual and that is law. EXCEPT in Quebec where everything is French. Why are they exempt from this? I’ve never seen a French speaking person out in the prairie outside of a French class, so what gives with the labels. That’s not right. Laws apply to everyone but them. They’re given extra money because they’re French, whereas the rest of us are left to our selves. Hell the only reason Canada gives a shit about Alberta is because of the oil there, but Quebec has no unique resources and it’s given all the attention it wants.
So a little bit about my life. I went about my own business in school, I played pokemon and beyblade with my friends in elementry, and we were all called nerds by the girls because “video games are for losers”. We didn’t care, we were fucking 6 years old. That continued onwards and onwards. Suddenly gaming is cool and there’s a million and one girls who claim to be gamers. Ok whatever. I’ve played with plenty over the internet. Some are too awful to call gamers, some play at my level. They play as well as boys/men. That doesn’t surprise me one bit. What does though, is when girls claim videogames are sexist. You don’t watch family guy and say that it’s offensive. A lot of girls never claim that Kratos sets unfair expectations for men, or that his revealing outfit is sexist against men. Have you seen his washboard abs? I got nothing on that. And lets get into gamers in general. I’ve seen plenty of cosplays by both men and women. I hate each and every one of them. “ooooh man that character looks so cool in that game” but only in that game. I see the cosplay and they look silly and out of place IRL. Lets go further about gamers. Lets say a girl approached me and said she was a gamer. I’m going to paint a picture for you. Lets say she’s wearing a COD shirt and a watchdogs hat and she’s got an Aperture Science laptop bag and she has her shoes painted in a halo theme. I think “orly? You look like a casual to me” I say “cool” and continue about my business. Lets say a dude approaches me in the same getup. “fucking casuals” and continue onwards. Why? Because the person is only displaying their interest in the most popular games. It’s like saying “I’m an art enthusiast, but I’ve only seen the mona lisa” Scenario 2 is some girl approaches me at a convention (I can’t fathom why at this point, I’m not a cosplayer or a celeb or anything worth approaching) and she says she’s a gamer. She’s wearing a shirt with the horde logo on it (World of warcraft incase you don’t know) and she has a counter strike branded hat on and she has the biggest fucking grin on her face because she got her physical disk copy of TF2 signed by Gabe. Yup. She’s a gamer, it’s clear as day she isn’t into the most popular thing, but into gaming itself.
Now onto privilege.
What? Are you retarded? Being over 300lbs is a disability. You get tax benefits if you’re disabled. You have the gumption to call me privileged because I don’t even weigh half that? The only privilege I have is panicking and having to binge eat to the point where my stomach hurts when I step on a scale and see I’ve lost weight. And the whole “retarded is a slur” “fat is a slur” “disabled is a slur” thing. No it isn’t. It’s a word that was invented to describe your situation, it’s not a slur. Fattie is a slur. Lardo is a slur. Special K is a slur. Wheels is a slur. Million dollar man is a slur. dum dum is a slur. And please, tell me more about that male privilege I have. I’ve had feelings for girls that aren’t remotely pretty and asked them out, they’ve all said no. They weren’t out of my league, they were just as attractive as I was. Any girls want me? Lolnope. Yes, male privilege is not having options. Male privilege is not having people tell you you look nice. Male privilege is not having people buy you drinks at the bar. Male privilege is having to bend over backwards as a waiter for tips. Male privilege is getting heat exhaustion and a hernia from working construction because the stip club doesn’t hire dudes, and there is no other way to pay rent. Male privilege is not having to worry about a combat death. Male privilege is getting drafted to fight a war the president you didn’t vote for started (if you are a US citizen and didn’t vote for the president who started that draft)
Thin privilege is that thing you get. You know, when you take care of your health, eat properly and excercise regularily. For me, thin privilege is also worrying about death from starvation when you get too sick to keep food down and that lasts more than a day. Thin privilege is also a fat person walking into you and knocking you aside, but if I want someone to get out of my way I have to ask them politely and hope for the best (people are assholes) Thin privilege is also having to worry if the next drink will have been too much when my larger friends are still able to continue enjoying (very much so) their beers.
White privilege is being ignored. White privilege is being considered bland. White privilege is making the basketball team and having nothing in common with anyone because the rest of the team is black and they think you’re a freak because you’re white and you can dunk. White privilege is listing pointing out people who were saying rude things to me and a middle eastern girl gets up and shouts “YOU ONLY POINTED TO ME BECAUSE YOUR RACIST” Yes you read that right. White privilege is getting accused of being racist when people can do so to get out of things. White privilege is not getting scholarships from schools on merit. White privilege is however exceeding in your class because a portion of your class was only accepted to increase ethnic diversity in the class. You read that right, A good number of my classmates (and a few of my friends) where only accepted into their programs because of their background. White privilege is being accused of having family that owned slaves. NEWSFLASH MOTHERFUCKER, WE’RE BOTH LIVING IN CANADA WHERE SLAVERY WAS ALWAYS ILLEGAL. White privilege is getting accused of “cultural appropriation” when you try to learn to use chopsticks. White privilege is you classmate from India cursing you out because you committed the crime of buying a (motherfucking delicious) bunch of Samosas for lunch. I’m sorry, am I not allowed to decide what I eat for lunch? Is this not a free country? Am I not legally allowed to decide what I want to eat for lunch?
Hetero privilege is girls. Hetero privilege is your dad questioning your sexuality because you’ve finished highschool and you’ve never been with a girl. Hetero privilege is well, nothing really. I kinda wish I was bisexual because then I would have both men and women to try and date. It just seems like a thing that would allow me more options (men and women instead of just women) That being said, I have no interest in men, dating them, or touching them more than a high five or fist bump or Heimlich maneuver.
Cis privilege is nothing I notice. I start my day, I take a piss, I put on my pants, eat breakfast, go to work, work for 8 hours, go home, play some videogames and go the fuck to sleep. Cis privilege is however…. Cis privilege is getting yelled at by a customer about misgendering them for saying “hello ma’am” when a girl dressed like she’s waiting for a hot date enters a restaurant. Cis privilege is not telling everyone I meet my gender. Cis privilege is having an actual personality instead of basing my every action and word and thought around being transgendered.
Now lets talk about headmates. What’s that? Hitler is living in your head and he’s argueing with doctor who? I think that’s called schizophrenia, or multiple personality disorder. It’s not? Well who diagnosed you? When’s the last time you talked about this with a shrink? How about you meet a girl I knew. Her name was Jennifer. Now Jennifer dated my friend Bill. That’s the only reason I knew Jennifer and I continue to avoid her and her irrational decisions. Jennifer had multiple personalities. Jennifer made a lot of stupid decisions, hurt a lot of people and caused herself a lot of problems because of these multiple personalities. Now if you want to continue to pretend that Bill wasn’t cheated on because Jennifer’s headmate alpha centauri (then next star over from our sun) did it and not Jennifer, you go right ahead and tell Bill next time you see him at the gym. I’m sure he’ll but down his 400 pound dead lift weight and give you a big hug. You want to tell Jennifer that it isn’t her that has herpes but doctor who because doctor who is the one who made her have sex with a stranger at the bar on her birthday, you go right ahead. I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear that she doesn’t have herpes.. Headmates as all roleplay needs to be obvious for the people outside. If you don’t make it clear to onlookers who have never seen you, you could be unwittingly encouraging someone to stop taking their meds. Headmates as it is makes mental disorder look like a fun time instead of a major issue. Mental illness is no laughing matter, I’m 90% sure that everyone who ever went on a shooting spree had a mental illness because fucking nobody in their right mind sits down and rationally decides to shoot up the office or their school or the mall.
Now I tend to think of myself as liberal. I love the government healthcare, I love that my government pays a large portion of my tuition and the scholarships my government provided me for excelling in school. I also am a bit right sided for politics when I say businesses should compete. No backdoor deals, No monopolies. Let the market force businesses to better themselves. I am also liberal in the sense that gay people damn well should be allowed to marry. Why the fuck not? And yes, trans people are people too. But you people take things too far. I’ve met people who are 1 dimmensional people. The only thing about their personality is their transgender. Favorite sport? I’m oppressing them because trans people can’t play in the gender they identify as. Favorite videogame? I’m oppressing them because some video games let people chose their gender, a luxary they didn’t have. Favorite TV show? I’m oppressing them because trans characters aren’t very common. I’m going to stop bothering them and suddenly I’m oppressing them because I’m avoiding talking to them because their trans.
Gay people sometimes do this as well. The only thing about them is the fact they are gay. Anything other than male genitals they’d like to talk about? Nope? What do you mean I’m homophobic just because I don’t want to hear about how good your boyfriend is? I also don’t want to hear about my mother’s sex life but that doesn’t make me someone who’s heterophobic.
Relevant video on the type of people who have accused me of being homophobic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3h6es6zh1c (it’s a comedic sketch, it is rather funny. Watch to end for plot twist)
Now the funny thing about racism is it actually goes both ways. African, Asian, Indian, Middle eastern, European, American and any other group of people you can think of can be racist. I suggested moving to Japan with my friend (who’s also white) so we could better learn Japanese. He said it would be great except the police are corrupt. Yes. White people are oppressed around the world. Systematic oppression and abuse are not things that just white people do. They are things that can happen to anyone. I’ve seen police officers arrest a white homeless man for urinating outside one night. It’s 1 in the morning, the man has no home or bathroom to use and nobody can actually get a good view of his penis. It’s unreasonable to arrest him when there’s nobody for him to actually be harmed by his crime. I had to walk away and hope the officers didn’t notice me and arrest me for being drunk in public. Then again, what are my other options? Sleep at the bar? Drive home? Lol no. Can’t pay for a cab when you have no money with you.
You know that rule? “It’s not all of us. It’s just a vocal and retarded minority of us” You ever hear about that? That is online social justice. A bunch of well meaning people who go too far, or are too stupid to realize they cause harm. A group of people who say stereotypes are wrong, and that we shouldn’t generalize (a great notion, by the way) only to turn around and generalize all men as rapists. All white people as oppressors and slave owners, all cis people as people who murder transgendered people, all thin people as people who go out of their way to make fat people ashamed of their bodies. Tumblr goes too far, and makes exceptions to it’s convictions of equality and being nice to everyone when it comes to the people they stereotype as bad.
i’ve had an idea, instead of calling things “problematic”, why don’t we just call them “reddit” instead, as in “oh my dad’s being really reddit today”
"I’ve got to drop a tumblr"
5 mins later
"Quit being such a tumblr user" is another part of my vocabulary